Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet,
-LUKE 10:39
listening to what he taught.
“Comparison robs you of gratitude.” The words have stuck with me, even though I don’t remember who first said them. And it’s true—comparing ourselves to others keeps our eyes fixed on the wrong thing and steals our joy. So why do we do it? Why is the battle so hard to win? Hijacking our gratitude isn’t the only thing taken from us when we accept comparison as a way of life. Here are a few other things that go missing when comparison sneaks into our hearts:
💔 Joy
💔 Identity
💔 Purpose
💔 Uniqueness
💔 Focus
Why does it matter if those things are taken? Because the loss of each one causes us to doubt our Father’s love for us. And more than anything, our adversary is always prowling around, wanting us to question, or even forget, how important we are to God.
It is truly heartbreaking when we see comparison advocated in the Church today. Maybe you haven’t noticed it before, but it’s there. Sometimes spoken from the pulpit or in a small group, our human nature is to compare. Instead of leaning into it, we must proactively push back.
The Holy Spirit brought this to light in my life with the account of Mary and Martha found in Luke 10:38-42. Martha opens her home to Jesus, and while rushing around taking care of her guests, her sister Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet. Understandably, Martha feels frustrated and tells Jesus to make her sister help. Yet He responds with loving gentleness that Mary is making the right choice to spend time with Him.
There are many books and sermons on this passage, and most of them are written focusing on how to help those Marthas in the Church to be more like Mary. And yes, in this story, Mary is making the right choice. But Mary is a human being, and when we think of her as this amazing woman who didn’t let distraction keep her from Jesus, we allow comparison a tiny little access point. We are comparing Mary and Martha. We find ourselves placing Mary on a pedestal and “tsking” Martha for missing what matters.
Here’s the problem. God made them both with their own unique personalities and gifts. Jesus isn’t rebuking Martha for taking care of business; that’s her very nature, and He made her that way. Nor is He praising Mary for her ability to slow down and smell the roses, for He wired her that way. He acknowledges that at that moment, Mary made the choice that would impact her spiritual growth, and Martha made the choice to follow her natural inclination.
We cannot build an entire theology around Mary and Martha based on this singular passage. Nor should we think Martha is “less than” and Mary is the “ideal.” Because, in all honesty, I’m a lot like Mary. I have no problem slowing down to enjoy time with friends or reading a good book. Sometimes, that’s the right decision, but not every time. Sometimes tasks need to get done.
Yes, sometimes us Marys need to learn to be like Martha. God hasn’t called us to sit at His feet for 18 hours a day. Even Jesus didn’t do that! There is work to be done, and there is time we spend with our Father to be ministered to and filled with the energy we need to do the tasks He sets before us. So, as a Mary-type, let’s consider how other moments may have looked in the lives of these sisters. What about the days Jesus wasn’t visiting?
…When Mary basked in the sunshine and discovered cloud animals, while Martha hung out the laundry…
…When Mary got lost in a good scroll, and Martha picked up the unleavened bread…
…When Mary creatively found new places to nap, and Martha scrubbed the floors…
We love celebrating Mary’s win in this story, but the other days, we label her “lazy” or a “quitter.” Because of this, she thinks she’s broken and alone—that there is something wrong with her because she likes to relax, needs more sleep, and doesn’t worry about the busyness of this life. There’s a reason this story is in Scripture, and it isn’t to compare ourselves and sort out who is “better” than the other. It’s to recognize that our Father made both Marys and Marthas and that neither need to try to be someone else. They both need to learn how to grow through their individual weaknesses.
🌱 Martha needs to learn that it’s okay to let God be in control; she doesn’t have to carry that weight.
🌱 Mary needs to learn self-discipline; sometimes she must “do” regardless of how she feels.
🌱 Martha needs to learn which tasks are kingdom tasks and which drain her energy.
🌱 Mary needs to learn how to finish a task and not allow distractions to keep her from kingdom impact.
🌱 Martha needs to learn that God doesn’t expect her to be perfect and how to take direction from her Father.
🌱 Mary needs to learn that God didn’t make her lazy, but she must guard herself not to be.
So, let’s not compare Mary and Martha in an all-so-human attempt to figure out who is “better.” Let’s look at their differences as a beautiful example of God’s creative design. Let’s celebrate their uniqueness and learn from their human struggles.
Journal Prompts
- Do you connect more to Mary or Martha? In what ways are you alike? In what ways are you different?
- How have others misunderstood you and caused you to feel “less than” you should be? What is your Father saying about you?
- What gifts of God has comparison stolen from you? Write a prayer asking the Lord to restore what the enemy has taken.
Deeper Study
Rest
Genesis 2:2-3; Matthew 11:28-30; Psalm 127:2
Hard Work
Colossians 3:23; Proverbs 13:4; 2 Thessalonians 3:11-13
Comparison
1 Samuel 16:7; 2 Corinthians 10:12; Galatians 6:4-5
Deeper Growth 